January is known as the “Divorce Month” with good reason, as the first Monday back after the holidays always sees a spike in divorce applications. So how can you stop any marital arguments from getting out of control – especially during the busy and stressful days of Christmas and New Year?
The first thing is to agree that any arguments after ten o’clock at night, or after a couple of drinks, are much better deferred. Instead agree to have the discussion at a better time – and then stick to that arrangement.
When you are having difficult discussions allow your partner to speak, and if they’re upset don’t interrupt or try to give them advice. Instead take it in turns for each of you to speak and the other to simply listen.
If you do want to make a negative comment make at least four positive comments at the same time. Not only will this help your partner to find the criticism easier to accept, it will also prompt you to think again about what you are going to say, and to perhaps to see it in a different way.
Look at the longer term issues that are there outside of the Christmas period as well. Commit to not just regular date nights, but also to properly discussing how you spend and save your money. Finances are one of the biggest causes of difficulties in relationships – not just at Christmas when they’re brought more sharply into focus, but throughout the year.