Would you like a quick blast of my didgeridoo?
That isn’t a euphemism, is it?
No – I’m really learning to play the didgeridoo. Would you like a quick blast of Muk Muk?
I’d have to repeat my earlier question – that isn’t a euphemism, is it?
Muk Muk – the Aboriginal song based on the call of the owl.
Right, I feel at a disadvantage here – why have you suddenly become so enthused about Aboriginal culture?
Well, it’s going to help me sleep, isn’t it?
How is playing the didgeridoo going to help you sleep?
It’s meant to be very good for my sleep apnoea.
Where your throat repeatedly closes while you’re asleep, continually stopping you breathing and waking you up?
That’s it. Well a team at the Zuercher Hoehenklinik Wald in Zurich did some research, and the people who learned to play and practice the didgeridoo saw their sleep apnoea improve.
Why’s that then?
When you learn the ‘didge’, as us aficionados call it, you have to learn circular breathing as well. That means you’re exhaling all the time, and along with the power to make the ‘didge’ sing, it helps to tone up the muscles in your throat.
So it’s helping you get your airway strong enough to stay open while you’re asleep?
Yes, it’s considered a very healing instrument. Playing the didgeridoo whilst moving it over someone’s body is said to send out healing and calming vibrations to them. Which is ironic as my practice is driving our Christine mad.
I can understand how she feels. Not so much of a dream time for her then?
I don’t understand that. I must say you don’t seem very impressed about the efforts I’m making.
If it’s circular breathing that helps couldn’t you just get that through learning the technique in singing?
Technically yes, but it wouldn’t get me in touch with my antipodean heritage. I’ve got a cousin in Auckland you know.
Of course. Wouldn’t the most straightforward answer be to lose weight, and stop compressing your windpipe when you’re lying down?
Would you like me to address that negativity with some positive vibrations from the didgeridoo?
I’d rather you didgerididn’t thanks.
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