relationships

Objectophilia – the things we love

What have all of these got in common? Duvet. Car. Railway station. The Eiffel Tower. Hologram. Doll. Full marks if your answer was “they’re all automatically suggested when you google ‘man marries’ or ‘woman marries’”. Welcome to the world of objectophilia.

Loss of smell – anosmia

Loss of smell as a sense (anosmia) might not seem like such a big deal. But for those affected the results can be devastating – depression, isolation, and even the breakdown of relationships.

The Victim – Karpmann Drama Triangle

The Victim – surely no-one wants to be that?

The Aggressor – Karpmann Drama Triangle

The Aggressor – how do people end up like that?

The Rescuer – Karpmann Drama Triangle

The Rescuer – what could possibly be a problem about them?

Family and friends – 5 steps for quality time

Enough quality time spent with family and friends are vital to our emotional and mental resilience. It’s not enough though to simply spend time with them. The keywords here are “enough” and “quality”.

Emotional Intelligence – have you got it?

Emotional Intelligence is a phrase that’s fairly common now, especially in some workplaces. If you don’t have a clear idea of what it means, but haven’t liked to ask, then this is for you. And if you think that you’re either born with it or not, then it’s for you as well.

Love hate relationships – can they work?

Love hate relationships are the bread and butter of rom-coms – two people hate each other on sight, and yet there’s something that keeps bringing them back to each other. That’s Hollywood though – what about real life?

Working relationships – how to keep them healthy

Working relationships are very important. If you’re in full-time work then you’re likely to spend two to three times more time with people at work than you do with your partner. So why don’t people invest the same effort into working relationships?

Relationship break-up – a case study

It’s February and shops and restaurants are full of special offers for Valentine’s Day. It can be a difficult time for some people if they’re on their own, and Lucy* was no exception. In fact, she was finding it so difficult she asked me for help.

When Lucy rang me she was having a really tough time, after breaking up with her long-term boyfriend. “It’s been four months and I’m still as upset as ever. I’m feeling terrible all the time, and my mates are losing patience with me.” she told me. “I want you to hypnotise me to completely forget him. If I can’t remember him at all then perhaps I’ll be able to get over him at last.”

I was honest with Lucy – that isn’t possible, practical, or ethical. Even so, I still suggested that she come for a free consultation, because I was acutely aware of how badly the break-up was affecting her. Although I couldn’t remove all memories of her ex there were other avenues open to her – and most of them ‘self-help’ that wouldn’t cost her any money either.

When Lucy talked about her relationship it was clear why the break-up had affected her so badly. They had only socialized with other people as a couple, and had stopped a lot of activities that they had enjoyed on their own. As they spent more and more time together Lucy lost the sources that would have fed her self-esteem. Increasingly relying on her relationship for everything, when it came to an end the result was catastrophic for her emotionally.

It was also clear why Lucy was still struggling to move on – and the reason was social media. She was still following […]